Wherein the Author generously shares
The. Best. Lab. Equipment. Promo. Evah . . .
Pipetting all those well-plates, baby,
sends your thumbs into overdrive
And spending long nights in the lab
makes it hard for your love to thrive
What you need is automation, girl,
something easy as 1 2 3
So put down that pipette, honey,
I got something that will set you free
And it’s called epMotion
( ‘cause you deserve something really great)
Girl, you need epMotion
(yeah girl it’s time to automate)
It’s got to be epMotion
(no more pipetting late at night)
--"It's Called epMotion"
You know, sometimes a commercial for yet another automated pipetting system hits the screen and I think to myself, Sheridan, does the world really need a new way of transferring reagents and extracting nucleic acids? If you're like me, you know the answer's a harsh, unequivocal No. Goddamit, shouldn't manual pipetting be enough? Why can't lab techs learn the basics like we all did, back there in Chemistry for English Majors? Oh, sure, there's that whole reproducibility over millions of pipetted samples--but still . . .
And then along comes the epMotion 5075MC. It's made by Eppendorf, a little company with one big, crazy dream--to get news of its automated pipetting system on iPods and iPhones the world over. I can only imagine that, after a solid week of no sleep whatsoever, Eppendorf's agency finally makes its Big Presentation--the idea designed to put the epMotion 5075MC on the lips of Tweens everywhere. The head of the agency slowly walks to the head of the conference table and says, "Gentlemen, I only have two words regarding the finest automated pipetting system in the world:
And so "It's Called epMotion" was born. And damned if I didn't want that sleek, machine-tooled baby humming away in the corner of my office, giving me the security of knowing that, yes, I can simultaneously finish my novel and cure rare, tropical diseases. It kind of makes me feel like, well, Buckeroo Banzai, with that whole particle-physics-plus-rock-and-roll riff.
So damn you, Eppendorf--this ad never gave me a chance, did it? You had me at Less reagents / Faster workflow / Saves you money / Well, well, well . . . But you knew that, didn't you?
No more pipetting late at night / Girl, this time we got it right. Indeed.